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9:22 AM
music: stones - let it bleed
Does anyone really know what they want in life? I'm thinking that once you get what you think you want - you want more or something different. I also think it is healthy to want things and have goals, just not so out of reach that you aren't able to attain them. If you have unrealistic wants and goals then you probably won't find any kind of happiness. If you are afraid to try , again....... you won't find whatever it is you want. I see so many people just stagnant and settled in their jobs, marriages and personal goals. This just makes me not want to be married ever or have kids - what is the point. when you find that certain someone, how is it that you can just throw that away after just 9 years? I understand that people get married at very young ages and as you do the whole growing up thing, you change. I just hope that there is a certain "feeling" or "knowing" when you find that special someone. I know I will never settle because I've lived alone -happy- for over 3 years and I know myself pretty well and I know what I want.
I hope I'm looking up when it comes around the corner. It's just sad. I mean, how can anyone go through life -the only life you get,- going through the motions every f'ing day not "feeling" anything, not trying to better themselves, not truly happy! how?
I also see some people who strive to be the best and are going so fast that they forget to just kick back and enjoy things along the way. i don't know what the hell i'm talking about. I've never held down a job (by choice) for more than 3 years anyway. I choose to see what is out there.
I'm not trying to put anyone down here, i'm just rambling.......
Let me tell you, it's boring getting paid and not having to do anything. I'm the new girl here and my boss isn't in once again. Out of 7 people in this department, there is only 3 here. Everyone does their own thing. Honestly there isn't anything to do. Believe me, i'm always the first to say "hey, do you need any help with anything, i mean ANYTHING". I think it's going to be a long day.
I had a garage sale this weekend and it wasn't worth the trouble we went through. I got sunburned and felt sick on saturday night, so i didn't end up going to the troubadour as i had wanted to. (planes mistaken for stars) were playing and i wanted to check 'em out.
I did however, go to long beach on sunday night to meet my friend rick for dinner and then we went to the art theatre on 4th to see "man at the end of the world" It is a great movie! I loved it from the start. There was this guy in the movie who played Colin's characters older brother at the beginning of the movie who i wouldn't mind seeing in person! gheez, I don't think anyone can be anymore adorable then this guy. The story was great, the acting was great. It was very a very touching movie. Let me just point out that I have nothing against homosexuals at all. although the whole time rick and i were sitting there in this long beach - gay-area theatre..... I kept hearing this couple to my right and a little ways back making noises. It was that kind of " rubbing your hands on your pants " kind of noise. I didn't want to look but after awhile i figured out that it was just the one shaq big guy rubbing his hands all over his friends big fat huge belly during the whole f'ing movie. as we got up to leave the couple was still sitting there, it was just a silly sight to see. just picture Matt Pinfield and Shaq. ha ha.
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