music: Bob Dylan Live 1964
it was 10 years ago today (april 15, 1994) that i was working at the Virgin Megastore in Costa Mesa when I somehow heard that Kurt Cobain was dead. my heart sank a little and I wasn't able to work the rest of the day. we all just walked around with sad faces. It was as if a family member had died but i couldn't cry for awhile until it really sunk in. I remember i was at home that evening and my mom walked in and she knew I must have heard and how i felt and i just let it out, just cried my eyes out.
For a little bit older generation it was John Lennon but for my generation it was Kurt Cobain and Jeff Buckley ..... and Elliott Smith. oh god I don't want to know how many others. man, if you really think about it you can go on forever!!
The last time I think I saw Nirvana was at the Roxy, but i'll have to look that up. I don't believe I've ever seen them in a big arena nor have i ever wanted to. I am kicking myself for not going to see them with Mudhoney in Pheonix though, I had a photo/and all access guest pass for Flipside Magazine and didn't go!! I had planned on going with one of the other writers but passed on it.
I still have my memories of seeing them at Jabberjaw/Rajis and the Roxy though. I was even at the video shoot for Smells like Teen Spirit. my ex boyfriend has part of the smashed fake guitar and a drum stick from that shoot. (william, you better not have sold 'em on ebay!) My friends Sarah and Gary are all over the video, Gary is the one who does the backflip off the bleachers and Sarah has the long redish/purple hair just rocking out shaking it while standing on the bleachers.
Seeing them at Rajis was an experience that I wished i could have remembered more clearly but i was young and drunk! I only remember someone tapping me on the head because i was alseep on the jukebox (yes, on top of the jukebox laid my head!!) and they said "hey, Nirvana is coming on" I stumbled to find my friends up front, i did and i just sat on the stage the while time. at least i didn't fall asleep but i really don't remember anything else but the show was crazy... most shows were back then and also the bathrooms at Rajis were really gross (it was punk rock).
The Roxy was fun. Sarah and I knew all the songs because we had bootlegs and Kurt was like "hey, how come all you guys know all the songs already?!" man, i loved broken mirrors!!!
Jabberjaw was wild! That was the night I met Iggy Pop. The place was sold out, packed to the rafters, and there was Iggy just standing in front of me watching Nirvana play. The Walls were all wet from the heat. I was standing on a small ledge holding my camera with one hand and trying to grip the wall with my other hand so i wouldn't fall on top of Iggy. We were near the front door which was the back of the stage really.... so my live Nirvana shots didn't turn out so hot.... just the back of Kurts and Chads head. Although I did get enough nerve to ask Iggy if I could take a photo of him and he was really nice about it .... I noticed that Kurt and Krist were standing right there next to me so I just motioned for them to move in for the photo. That was the coolest thing ever!! I remember taking a 'Hole" flyer out of Krist's hands and he just gave me this look like, what the hell?..... I saw that it said "hole" and Dinosour Jr. on it and I had to read it for myself! :) I should have taken a million photos that night but I didn't!! I should have gone to Arizona that night but I didn't!!! I knew Nirvana was gonna be big but I didn't think he would be dead in the next few years!
I don't know what to think about "who killed him" or if ms. love had anything to do with it. i doubt we will ever know the whole story. Kurt had his drug issues and stomach problems ....... i just don't see how he could have shot himself in the head. I once saw ms. love and Kurt do this special show at the club lingerie way back when i was into "doll parts" by hole. Kurt was so out of it, it was like he was looking right through me from across the stage. Courtney was doing a song and i noticed Kurt standing off to the side of the stage just looking right through me at the wall. it was sad! Courtney was a complete bitch to him! he was doing everything for her to make her happy and she wasn't happy with anything. she stands on the stage with a drink and smoke in one hand and the mic in another hand and starts complaining that she doesn't have a stool and that why does he have one and not her.... so he gives up his stool to her. She just kept barking at him and he would just take it......
does anyone else have any Nirvana stories?
hey bill weren't you there at Rajis with us? how was the show?? ha ha.......
PS - for all those who think that Nirvana started grunge.... you are wrong! it was Mudhoney!! look it up yourself, sure Nirvana sold some albums but Mudhoney was rocking the scene before Nirvana....... The Melvins rocked to!!